Writing a eulogy for your father can be a heartbreaking experience. It’s perfectly normal to feel sad and nervous when composing such a personal eulogy, so take care of yourself throughout the writing process. To start your eulogy, spend some time brainstorming. Think about your most treasured memories of your father and how they can fit into a eulogy. From there, you can begin writing. Write a piece that expresses how much your father meant to you, and how grateful you are for his presence in your life. As delivering a eulogy for your father can be emotionally trying, practice a bit before delivering the eulogy to make sure you’re okay speaking about your father publicly.

Steps Edit

Part One of Three:
Prewriting Your Eulogy Edit

Remember it’s a eulogy and not an obituary. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is an overview of the facts of someone’s life. It covers things like achievements, career, place of birth, surviving family, and so on. Eulogies focus on capturing the essence of who someone was. [1]

• As obituaries are fact-based, they are often less emotional. A eulogy focuses on a person’s story. What did this person’s life mean? What did this person mean to you?
• Avoid writing laundry lists of achievements, and including an excess of facts about the person. Instead, focus on stories and memories that speak to who a person’s character.

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Brainstorm some ideas. Before you start writing, a brainstorming session can help get your mind going. Spend some time jotting down memories and stories, as well as things you remember about your father’s character.

This can help you find an angle for your obituary. [2]

• Start by writing down all initial ideas you have about your father. What do you first think of when thinking about your father? What is your strongest memory of him? What words come to mind when trying to describe your father?
• Also, think about what external things you associate with your father. What music reminds you of your dad, as well as movies, television shows, foods, sounds, and smells? You may want to immerse yourself in these things as you write, as this may trigger some valuable memories for your eulogy.

Focus on an overarching theme. A eulogy should be concise and make a point. You do not want a disparate connection of memories. As you brainstorm, try to figure out a larger theme. What central theme or message ties the various memories together? [3]

• You do not have to be insightful or make sense of death. It’s okay to admit death is terrible and baffling. Try to make sense of a person’s life. Who was your father and what will the world be like without him?
• You can figure out vague concepts as a theme. Maybe your father was an attorney who took on civil rights cases. You can focus on the theme of generosity, community, and helping others. Maybe your father was a business man who made his own fortune. Your theme can be something like the benefits of tenacity, hard work, and dedication.
• You can also talk about what you learned from your father. What is the greatest lesson he taught you? How do you incorporate that lesson in your life today?

Decide how you want to organize your eulogy. There are many different ways to organize your eulogy. Your organization method depends on your eulogy’s theme, as well as what information you’re including. As you pre-write, figure out the best way to organize your eulogy. [4]

• You can write your eulogy in chronological order. This may be helpful if you include anecdotes from your father’s early life, as well as his later life. If you find your stories and memories come from different points in time, chronological order may make sense.
• You can also organize your eulogy by ideas. If you’re talking about several characteristics of your father, all illustrated by different moments and memories, organize by ideas. For example, you’re talking about your father’s success as a business man and how this success was due to determination, work ethic, and personal skill. You can have a section on each of these qualities, and include appropriate memories and anecdotes.

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