Marrying the right person, is it done by chance or can you do something yourself to know that you are on the right path? Are great looks and character enough to suffice and ensure a lifetime relationship? Well. by looking around. you soon come to realize that the answer is no. What is it then? Find out in this article!

Getting into relationships is not that difficult, especially if you are one of those sociable people, however, the real test of a true love relationship is of course time and marriage. “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health”, you know the traditional vows but not to break them it is something rather rare these days.Why so?

One and the most important of reasons is shallowness. Even if you know what you want, and your partner also does, is that enough? Are you sure this is “the one” or is out there another better option for you? How should you know that before you say “I do”?

Statistically speaking, marriages based on sex usually last from 2 to a maximum of 5 years. When I say based on sex, I mean that the character of the person is not placed before the looks on the importance level, thus the choice to tie the knot is made based on physical appearance which unfortunately is simply not enough in a relationship. For example if your date is this gorgeous looking guy, unless he has a gorgeous character to match, you’ll soon get tired of keeping appearances so the relationship is destined to a short story. If someone that you think about marrying does not respect you and is not honest and trustworthy, well. that will surely show after the wedding if you were too blinded to observe it before. A character to back up the good looks is essential for a long time relationship!

I am sure you, just like me, have already heard many love stories, they usually go like that: “well, we met there and we dated this long or this short and then we married”. Going deeper, you find the reasons people married – unfortunately love is not the only reason – and sometimes, without realizing, people marry for fear of remaining alone for the rest of their days. This reason is nevertheless problematic because these people are actually in love with the concept of marriage and not in love with the person they marry. It is not so easy sometimes to really differentiate between the concept and the real person, but if you want to marry Paul, yet, James is also a good guy and you would eventually marry James (actually it doesn’t really matter who would be as long as he is a good guy), obviously you are not so in love with Paul. Consequently you are still in love with the concept of marriage if you think something like that about your future marriage:” I want to marry a good guy/girl because I don’t want to be alone.”

Marrying a good person is of course desirable but let’s just imagine a scenario where you met this person and you like her/him very much, you fall in love and then you realize that your life without her/him would not reach its highest potential or in other words, not having him/her in your life would be irreplaceable.

When you switch from “I can live with him/her” to “I can’t live without him/her” the things become true, you have a person in the center and not just a concept.

Saying this about a person of character to last a lifetime is indeed a blessing!

To talk about it is easy but to actually make a responsible choice, a choice that will affect the rest of your days, is indeed a lot more difficult if you want a lifetime lasting relationship. Giving your relation time, sufficient time to really know your future spouse’s character is of course very important but it is not necessarily a guarantee that things will work out on long term as you dreamt. All human effort regarding this matter is of course important but. who knows in the end what may occur? The Bible talks about times of extreme poverty in the people of Israel where the most merciful of women ended up eating their own children. terrible!

I mentioned that only to put into perspective the most important point of this article: how should you know how your partner will cope with what the future holds? Who knows what may occur? What if there comes a permanent illness?

There are tough moments in life, yet there is one sure thing to know how to choose your “Mr/Mrs Right”: ask God!

Yes, asking God regarding this crucial matter is very, I mean extremely important! God alone knows what the future holds and only He can really see the hearts of men, that’s why His pick for you is the best! One might think:”Oh but if I let God choose for me, will I like His choice?” As childish as this question looks, is however an honest one, and I am sure that God who loves you the most, God who knows the desires of your heart more than anyone (yourself included), God who loves to give you what is good for you, such a God will surely lead you to the best option for you regarding marriage! Ask Him to write your love story, it is the best ever!

If you don’t know how God talks you first need to be in relationship with Him; this means to talk to Him asking Him to make you clean of your sins by the blood of His Son Jesus Christ, and here is the point where you are born into God’s family! The next step is to get to know God from His Word, The Bible to be able to differentiate His voice from all the other voices. For example regarding marriage, God will never tell you to marry a person who is already married to somebody else because this is against His will written in the Bible.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

By Claudia Miclaus
Last Updated: 10/13/2011